UGH

I really wish you would answer. You seem to be one of the only people who will actually talk to me anymore and I could really use it...

Is this a dream?

I think this might actually happen. We might end up doing a long distance thing, and I want to. She lives in New York and is one of the sweetest girls ever. I find myself thinking about her more and more and I think she is doing the same. She posted, "So, I have this friend, and when I think of him I can’t breathe. This is a disaster… <3" When I asked her about the friend she just gave me a wink face and said goodnight. Damn mind ninjas. Now, even if I didn't want to I can't stop thinking about her and what that might mean. Does it mean that the friend is me? I want this, and I think she wants it, I don't know if she wants a long distance relationship. Ugh, this is all so confusing.

I'm loosing everything

I'm loosing literally everyone and everything I care about. At this point I don't think that even my best friend would notice or care if I moved 8 hours away.

Not sure what to do.

kind of a pointless post actually. I'm just not sure if I want to keep doing mind the gap next year. I'm almost certain that I'm gonna audition for OTR again, but even if I don't get in, I don't know if I wan't to be a part of MTG. It's not the people or anything like that, it's the music, it's not the right style of music for my voice, alternative rock doesn't really fit an r&b/indie/pop voice...

fuck you

This is my life, it's not your fucking problem.

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really?

Are my clothes becoming that which defines me? I'm starting to lose all sense of individuality. Every part of me seems to be taken from other people. Even this feels like its taken directly off of someone else. Are my dreams really my dreams? Are my goals really my goals? Humph, this is all a pointless post anyway, odds are that anyone who reads this will stop before they get this far. The only time I feel real, like my own person, is when I'm hanging out with Jenny and honestly, that scares me. What'll happen if we stop being good friends? Ugh, worthless rambling just makes me feel worse.

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Fury

Congratulations Andrew, you have gotten on my hate list faster than anyone else. Until you grow the fuck up, I will not associate with you, acknowledge you, or anything else. You are dead to me. You have some serious learning to do, it's not that people don't like you because you're gay, people don't like you because you are a self-righteous asshole who uses being gay as a crutch to make yourself feel better. I don't have words to describe how much you annoy me, it took everything I had not to punch you today. What you did is not okay in any respect. Therefor, I am done with you. Goodbye and good riddance.