Today is callbacks. I've been pulling up memories all day. Flash back to 2 years ago. I was a sophomore, excited and nervous as all hell. Flash forward to 2 hours later I'm singing and being judged, I knew I had a shot at making it, but i couldn't help but shake a bit. Nancy had us all sit down and called us up as groups. this was when it got really scary. I tried not to pay attention to the people waking in front of me, behind me just listening, I couldn't help but watch when one stopped near me and started writing something on their pad of paper, trying to imagine what they were writing. I was told to sit down. So, I managed to relax for a while. Then I was called up again, more nervous than ever. I wasn't told to sit back down. I stood up there for the rest of call backs. I made it in.
Flash forward a year, it's call backs again. I'm confident this time, I knew what I was doing. I got up, sang with my group and was promptly sat back down. Thats when i got scared. After a few rounds I was told to come sing again. I was decidedly more nervous but still kind of confident, I was sat down again after a few round, but shortly thereafter was told to come back up. I made it in again.
Flash back to the present. It's callbacks again, but this time, I'm not singing, I'm judging. I'm going to be the one scaring people, I'm going to be the one helping Nancy decide who gets in and who doesn't. I need to forget all that I know about the people auditioning and be un-biased.
Today will be so very bitter sweet, but that's kind of common now. I love what I do, singing with dubs, and I am realizing now, that I might make it so that other people who love singing too, might not get that opportunity and it makes me feel like a bit of an ass, but I have to do what will make the group as good as it can be next year. I need to pay attention to the people's voice, blend, vowels, if they are enjoying themselves and attitude. I'm not holding anything back today, i will be brutally honest and accept what comes with that.
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